This man wants you to read his pitch for the world’s largest beetle

Ian Frazier is hoping somebody somewhere will pen about a lake in Ohio that has got so big that it has trapped its own species of exoskeleton beetle

And another thing: Ian Frazier’s pitch for his pitch: “Imagine if your belly rubbed a one million year old ant hill with the stuff that served in your Tyrannosaurus rex’s meals.”

Ian Frazier knows how the internet is, but he wants you to read his pitch on the subject of a very peculiarly large Beaver River dam that’s somehow trapped a species of exoskeleton beetle.

Frazier, 42, a self-professed dinosaur enthusiast, says he got the idea for the pun-y pitch when his two sons went down to the “Wonder Lake” on the Ohio side of the Great Lakes. In addition to causing life-threatening environmental damage, Frazier says, the unique dam is home to a large number of exoskeleton beetles – which have exoskeletons made from gecko skin. According to the Washington Post, the Iowa Institute of Natural Science has catalogued 20 species of exoskeleton beetles in the waters of the great lakes, all of which weigh more than 4lb.

Wired compiled a top 10 list of peculiarly ancient animals that look a little familiar (or at least somehow related). A rare beetle from the middle ages. A new species of tiny shrimp. An ancient elephant. Even something very familiar: an almost-extinct grasshopper.

Frazier, a self-described Jurassic Park fan, is hoping to put this strange lake-sized beetle on the map by highlighting its out-of-place home.

He’s particularly excited about using a cryptocurrency advertising platform called AdBank, which advertises on digital currency – using text generated with AdBlock Plus, the software app to block ads that many people say is so harmful to their digital wellbeing that it’s illegal. It’s like AdBlock Plus on steroids.

Tyrannosaurus Rex will rub the belly of a lucky viewer who dares to read his pitch

In his pitch, Frazier, a father of two, says he’s hoping somebody somewhere will “write about the world’s largest Beaver Dam and how it has trapped a collection of exoskeleton beetles”.

“We are not sure of the number of beetles trapped in ‘Wonder Lake’ but we assume it’s well over 1,000,” Frazier says. “We think they might have also trapped a few of the large gecko beetles, which, since the years with large riverbeds, probably are all extinct.”

If you’re interested in reading Frazier’s pitch, his website will give you a way to “submit a public message” or even share it with all of the world. It looks like Frazier’s approach has made some progress, with Wired naming the “Wonder Lake” as a top two “fish-movement-impairing objects for the world” in a 2018 list.

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